In This Issue
If all you did was watch movies, you'd probably think the Mafia only existed in New York, Chicago and Las Vegas. Fahgeddaboudit.
Louisiana Shrimp & Petroleum Festival co-sponsor BP, in a deep-pocketed gesture, plans to roll up trucks of Guinness dark beer and freely open the taps, letting them drain in the streets while fest-goers skim their fill. The taps will be left fully open for 87 hours in homage to the nearly three months the Deepwater Horizon well gushed oil into the Gulf.
Gov. Bobby Jindal told reporters he was called in the middle of the night and "offered cash money to drop all lawsuits related to and cease all mention of" the Deepwater Horizon oil spill.
Once excavators reach the source of the original pothole some 1,200 feet beneath the earths surface engineers will begin pumping mud and cement into the original, permanently closing the crater.
The chief scientist for the government's National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration declared all oil spilled into the Gulf is gone before boarding a BP jet with what appeared to be BP hookers.
Between TV and beignets, those offended by Businessweek magazine's finding that Louisiana is the laziest state in the nation have finally worked up the energy to protest. ALSO! Businessweek earns Levee's 'laziest magazine' award! It's all here!
Featuring the New Orleans connections to: Jennifer Coolidge, Jane Leeves, Montana and Laurence Fishburne, Jennifer Garner, Rollings Stones, Kim Kardashian, Ryan Reynolds, two people on something called "Heroes," and Sean Penn.
Serious thoughts conveyed in single-panel cartoons. If politicians could boil things down so well, maybe this country would have a real, visible future.
Top Stories
The New Orleans Levee's Katrina the Clown hosted the greatest butts (of jokes) ever and then kept trying to hit them with a bat. Ray Nagin, Kathleen Blanco, George Bush, Michael Brown, David Vitter with porn star Stormy Daniels and Bill Jefferson were at the packed Superdome on Aug. 29 to commemorate the solemn fourth anniversary of The Levee. The clown is in the center. Ex-BP CEO Tony Hayward was a very special guest. CNN's Anderson Cooper was on hand a short amount of time.
Saints fans with disabilities and without are pleased with the team's decision not to allow the Ying Yang Twins to dictate that everyone should "stand up and get crunk." For the fan shown above, however, it might not matter.
Other News
About The Levee
The New Orleans Levee newspaper is a free, satirical publication created in New Orleans and distributed monthly in and around the city and available online for everyone we wish were still home.
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From the Breach
The writers, artists and editors of The Levee wish to thank you, our readers, and our wonderful and high-quality advertisers for allowing us into your mind and hopefully heart for four years.
We believe you see New Orleans like we see New Orleans. As a microcosm of what is happening or going to happen elsewhere in this country. Think about it.
Our first edition was published Aug. 29, 2006, a year to the day after the federal levees failed during Katrina. And, you know, Katrina wasn't a bitch. The Army Corps was and is, President Bush was and is, Michael Brown was and is, Ray Nagin was and is, Kathleen Blanco was and is. And, the mainstream media that reported floodwater in New Orleans for six months after it was gone was and is - and remains to this day driven solely by the photo opportunity or the chance to divide people through routinely bad, oversimplified and lazy storytelling.
PLEASE check out and please patronize our ADVERTISERS. The Levee runs solely on display advertising.
It is a newspaper that probably shouldn't exist but it does, because of you. (And we haven't even accepted porn advertising yet!)
Thank you from the entire editorial staff at The Levee.
Sincerely,
Rudy Vorkapic,
Publisher/Editor
e-mail: rudy@nolevee
Letters to the Editor accepted at: letters@nolevee.com
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