In This Issue
In an announcement that shocked some but failed to surprise many, President George W. Bush declared war today on “that part of the world,” formerly known as Louisiana, the 18th state in the Union.
The New Orleans Levee Newspaper has learned the Top 10 reasons why Mayor C. Ray Nagin decided NOT to run for governor.
One of the city’s most famous residents has been arrested and charged with multiple counts of disorderly conduct. After three days on the run, the Blue Dog was finally penned down at Cat’s Meow.
Champagne toasts and polite cheers reverberated throughout Galitoire’s Restaurant in the French Quarter on the last Friday of September as Newcomb Boulevard residents congregated to commemorate and celebrate the grand closing of their once-public street to other New Orleans residents.
In director Jim McBride’s 1987 film “The Big Easy,” New Orleans took center stage as the setting for this drama about police corruption, murder and redemption. In addition to turning in a wonderfully mediocre performance, actor Dennis Quaid took it upon himself to use his character, Lt. Remy McSwain, as a vehicle to reveal to the world that everyone in New Orleans talks like a complete yahoo. And, judging from these transcripts of outtakes from the movie, it could have been much, much worse.
Talk about out of options, this woman turned to The Levee.
Take a peek at this month's Front Page of The Levee.
The new song, "Nagin's Last Stand," debuted at No. 1 on The Levee music charts this week. Listen to it free under "Levee Audio" on this home page. Then come here and comment on what you heard.
Unlike the Times-Picayune, The New Orleans Levee was not content in trusting the Hustler-administered lie-detector test of an admitted whore, so we took the mystery of whether U.S. Sen. David Vitter paid for sex with former New Orleans hooker Wendy Ellis to mathematician Stephen Hawking, the smartest man in the known universe.
The Levee wants to know which prosecutor you think is the worst. Is it Charles Foti, Eddie Jordan, Mike Nifong or Reed Walters?
WASHINGTON – Idaho senior U.S. Sen. Larry Craig’s sex-sting case has spilled over into Louisiana amid reports that New Orleans Congressman William Jefferson may have been soliciting bribes in the bathroom stall next to Craig, according to Levee sources.
The on-again, off-again bitterness between Mayor Nagin and the City Council is on again after a several-day hiatus. The mayor is steaming that Councilwoman Stacy Head – without permission – said, “Have a nice weekend,” to a department head in the hallway of City Hall on a Friday afternoon while both were leaving the building for the weekend.
Top Stories
New Orleans Mayor C. Ray Nagin is stepping down from office and will make his decision public during an official announcement this week. Above, Nagin has recovery czar Dr. Ed Blakely, left, lead city workers and others beholden to the mayor into City Hall for one last mayoral ego boost as the mayor leaves the building after announcing his resignation. His head glistening with sweat after his announcement, the mayor acknowledged his woeful failure to provide leadership for anyone in the city. Many say his long-awaited candor is like a dream.
Louisiana U.S. Sen. David Vitter, who now has a surgically implanted candy circus-peanut penis after his was cut off by his promise-keeping wife, soon will be able to whore again. Doctors say he'll actually be able to stick a whole bunch of them together to make himself an even bigger dick, not unlike the one above.
Other News
About The Levee
The New Orleans Levee newspaper is a free, satirical publication created in New Orleans and distributed monthly in and around the city and available online for everyone we wish were still home.
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From the Breach
Kentwood, Louisiana has broken ground on its much-anticipated Britney Spears Museum. Built to honor the town's "most accomplished" daughter, the roadside attraction will feature panty-less tour guides, free implants, lobotomies, and - obviously - no childcare. The project's architect says he designed the building to look like an affordable trailer with an adjacent rubbish receptacle. When asked about the plans, he said simply, "Form must always follow function."
Levee Audio
By Stephen Lerner and John Lomas
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