In This Issue
Mayor Ray Nagin's Office of Homeland Security and Public Safety has issued a one-page-fits-all “Plan Model Timeline” for city-assisted evacuation. Like any plan, model or timeline emanating from the office of the mayor, only time will tell how badly it works.
The Louisiana SPCA has issued a warrant for the dog owned by the legally embattled Jefferson political dynasty. The dog – named Benjamin, as in Franklin, whose picture is on the $100 bill – is accused in a federal indictment of raiding the free food and water put out by Animal Rescue of New Orleans volunteers that is intended for known strays abandoned after Katrina.
Forget the New York Times' crossword. Like our recorver, The Levee's little brain tease is actually a challenge.
The large potholes that are so prevalent in our city are not just the fault of a terrain composed of old Mardi Gras beads, plastic go cups, and disintegrating plush toys. I recently donned my spelunking gear and descended into the one on Magazine street and discovered that it goes all the way to China!
Editor’s note: If you’re not reading C.B. Forgotston on his Web site or through his free e-mail subscriptions, then you simply don’t know what’s going on in New Orleans or Louisiana. Simply put, if not for C.B.’s contribution to exposing the truthfulness of state leaders’ greed in regards to obscene legislative pay raises, it’s likely the governor and the Legislature would have gotten away with it. THE LEVEE
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin believes his dismal 31 percent approval rating must be the mistake of researchers. The mayor discounts any problems with himself or his administration. This reader's actual e-mail exchange with the mayor says volumes.
Mandeville Mayor Eddie Price’s political fight over several widely publicized gaffes now includes a lawsuit filed by heirs of the late comedian Rodney Dangerfield. The suit alleges that Price is misappropriating the late comedian’s likeness and abusing Dangerfield’s famous line, “I don’t get no respect.”
Responding to concerns that his youth could harm his vice-presidential aspirations, Gov. Jindal announced yesterday that he will drop the name “Bobby” – a moniker he usurped from the youngest sibling on “The Brady Bunch” – and demonstrate his maturity by now taking the first name of eldest Brady sibling “Greg.”
Top Stories
A weary, haggard and uncoiffed Louisiana Gov. Bobby JIndal was dragged out of the governors mansion last night by commandos for the international ethics crimes tribunal in The Hague to face trial for the systematic genocide of the very ethics reforms that were the cornerstone of his election just six months ago.
Politically emasculated Louisiana Sen. David Vitter has teamed up with men's room legend and fellow sex-scandal Sen. Larry Craig to introduce the "Marriage Protection Amendment" to the U.S. Constitution. After announcing their bill, Vitter remained on the podium and for three hours harangued on how to properly grip a prostitute's breast (above).
MILAN – Horrified by what he termed a “fashion crime wave,” New Orleans Police Chief Warren Riley this week deployed every available officer to man an elite fashion police unit designed to combat “fringe” fashion elements within the department. Riley’s fashion push comes on the heels of the department’s controversial reprimand of 35-year police veteran Sgt. Bobby Guidry (inset photo), for wearing a blue shirt instead of black on his final day on the force.
Other News
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The New Orleans Levee newspaper is a free, satirical publication created in New Orleans and distributed monthly in and around the city and available online for everyone we wish were still home.
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From the Breach
Responding to public outcry over seemingly exorbitant charges on city-paid credit cards belonging to himself and his staff members, Mayor Ray Nagin continues to defend his and his aides' spending. Particular scrutiny has been brought to bear on charges by mayoral spokeswoman Ceeon Quiett and the former head of Intergovernmental Affairs and current congressional candidate Kenya Smith. The Times-Picayune reported in May that the two had charged thousands on their credit cards, ranging from $4 trips to Smoothie King to a nearly $4,000 dinner at Morton's Steakhouse. "It's not cheap to have affairs inter-governmentally," Nagin said. "Kenya needs to spend thousands at local restaurants so that various areas of government are able to have affairs with each other inter-governmentally." Nagin also defended Quiett, noting that her expense budget was miniscule when compared to her tremendous value for the city. "When you divide Ceeon's salary and perks by the number of times she says, 'No comment,' she's actually making less than minimum wage," Nagin said. Quiett had no comment.
Levee Audio
By Stephen Lerner and John Lomas
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