The New Orleans Levee

By Mike Smith The Levee hairy writer   The Nylanderia pubens species of ants, commonly known as the “crazy, hairy ant,” has now invaded Florida, Texas, Mississippi, and Louisiana. These ants are known for their erratic behavior, likened to “ants on speed” by entomologists, and immunity to traditional pesticides. They’re also known to infiltrate and [...]

By Alexa Surinck The Levee cage match writer In a gesture of defiance against what prosecutors have called New Orleans’ foremost organized crime family, New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu has challenged Telly Hankton to a fistfight to “settle all this once and for all.” Landrieu’s office issued an accompanying statement proclaiming the Hanktons’ “reign of [...]

  By Mark Chaney The Levee undress-of-grievances writer   Recognizing the difficulty in “occupying” an entire city, the New Orleans branch of the worldwide “Occupy” movement has followed the Wall Street lead and decided to center their attention on New Orleans’ true financial center and heart of the money flow in the local economy: Visions [...]

Putting their differences aside for the good of the country, President Obama and Republican leaders today joined forces to pass landmark legislation they promise will solve the nation’s economic woes by allowing the government to print more gold “Printing more money creates hyper-inflation, but more gold creates hyper-confidence,” President Obama said during a national address [...]

By The Levee staff A day after the Louisiana Superdome was renamed the Mercedes-Benz Superdome, its windows were smashed, CDs were stolen and its emblem ripped off. Police are looking for a youth with “a really giant, massive” Mercedes-Benz hood ornament around his neck, taken from atop the newly renamed Superdome. Police questioned the actions [...]

By Wesley Muller The Levee We-Didn’t-Start-The-Fire writer The New Orleans Fire Department admitted Tuesday the water dropped from helicopters to extinguish the massive marsh fire in eastern New Orleans actually propelled the blaze because it contained significant amounts of oil. Soil samples taken from the scorched marshland revealed “abnormally large amounts of crude oil residue” [...]